February 2012
0 posts
Things I wish I could ask in an interview (but...
How good is cell reception going to be at my desk?
Do you have a nap room?
Is there free coffee?
Do I get a corporate card?
Are you dog friendly?
Whats the holiday party like?
Whats your position on MSN Messenger?
January 2012
5 posts
Considering Calling in "Jeremy Piven" tomorrow...
that counts right???
December 2011
3 posts
May 2011
1 post
this is how its done- A scathing (and humorous)...
To Whom it May Concern,
I didn’t realize when I purchased Lauryn Hill tickets that the real price of my ticket would be:
$80
Standing in heels on a concrete floor for hours
Being pressed up against the back of a giant man, who felt the need to break out his best dance moves—6 square inches of personal space be damned!
HOURS of waiting
A little piece of my human dignity
...
January 2011
2 posts
I am tired of hearing about the BP Oil spill. There, I said it. I know thats an unpopular opinion and its probably selfish but Australia is flooding, the Northeast is buried in snow, and Haiti still needs relief. I’m just suggesting that we focus our efforts and energy where we can make an impact, not on old mistakes and injuries.
thanks for your time. I’ll be here all week.
Things that are pissing me off today:
Snow, or rather lack of it. You promised, weatherman.
People telling me they were rooting for “you” in the national Championship. Guess who wasn’t on the field???? any of us.
mittens. its like asking a seal to use a can opener.
baby pictures as Facebook profile pictures. if its you its false advertising (you’re not that cute anymore)- if its your kids, get a...
December 2010
1 post
“I have a case of Kenny G fever- I get nauseous when I hear excessive saxophone.”
August 2010
1 post
ME: I am making tense errors in customer e-mails. I should be stopped.
B: Unfortunately, if you are stuck in a different tense I am unable to rescue you. Due to lack of time travel ability.
July 2010
2 posts
June 2010
9 posts
“Once at a party a drunken Frenchman tried to convince me that most American...”
– Molly Ringwald
Tell me about it sister….
so, first of all, awesome, but seriously- why does... →
I crack myself up.
Bri: I saw a silk jumper in the jcrew catalogue. I hoped it was a typo
Me: unacceptable
Bri: you have to have the right body type to wear a romper.
Me: what type is that? Under 13? Because that's the only time its OK.
Its light out and I am in bed. On a thursday...
May 2010
15 posts
Countess Luann has a video, and there is "music"... →
“your company should feel like the conversation is real, even when it feels like science class”
HILARIOUS
I'm in vegas and its now 'romper watch' 2010...
Yikes!
on my tumblr "greatest Hits" B wins the prize for...
Me: Dilemma- go to u village and return things tonight, or go home and vacuum my house and give my dog a bath? One makes me money (back) the other involves sweatpants. therefore- torn
B: ooh. I say go to U Village- because then you will fully enjoy the sweatpants and not wake up in a cold sweat thinking about stupid money
Me: you are wise b-san
B: haha chalk it up to life experience
Me: I like it. here's the part that kills me- I have to take the bus home then jump in my car and drive back into the city
B: yeah. sucky. But you'll feel better once it's done. It's always good to have a little breathing room in your bank account
Me: or, non suffocating room- it will still be wheezy
B: yeah
Me: until FRIDAY!
B: well, who says you can't wear sweats to U Village, piss off the uptight socialites. Also, might make you feel less cute, and less likely to re-spend money- double win. Although, if your sweats say "Juicy" or "Pink" across the butt, you'll fit right in
“We are all entitled to our own opinions, but not our own facts.”
– President Obama
Harvard graduates are more likely to be racists... →
I wish I could say I was surprised, but I have witnessed a very cavalier attitude towards racial profiling and taboo terms from a lot of the HLS graduates I know.
SHAMEFUL.
April 2010
6 posts
Baby daddy...
ME: did I tell you K asked me to go to happy hour "sometime" and winked at me a week or so ago- terrifying
B: really? you really are on a hot streak
did I tell you that when they sent out the original email introducing him, D says something to me along the lines of "He's kind of cute. And he's single, Becki." (it was a good picture of him, to be fair)
I tried to keep an open mind about his potential until I caught him talking to Conor about his birds in the kitchen one day
Me: shudder.
B: and he referred to himself as "Daddy"
Me: dealbreaker. he likes to come tell me about them
B: in reference to the birds
Me: like I appreciate them- they are not pets. they are vermin
B: haha. I mean, unlike you, I can appreciate the concept of birds. but that doesn't mean I want to hear their constant squawking or have them flapping their wings on me and I certainly wouldn't want a man who referred to himself as his birds' "daddy". that is beyond deal-breaker
ME: there is never a time for a grown man to refer to himself as daddy- unless he is talking about how he is a baby-daddy, which is still a dealbreaker. is that hypenated? babydaddy? baby daddy? Baby-daddy?
B: well, he could conceivably refer to himself as "daddy" in relation to his children and not make me giggle derisively behind my hand but any other context is not acceptable. I'd hyphenate, btw- baby-daddy
me: when talking to children= acceptable or quoting sed conversation. I am SO glad we resolved the hypen issue
B: haha- I just used "baby-daddy" in an article btw, "Let’s face it: some of us need structured class time and strict deadlines. We don’t necessarily like them… but if you’ve ever found yourself watching those trashy “You’re My Baby-Daddy” talk show beat-down sessions, doing laundry, picking cat hair off the couch, or just staring off into the middle distance—all to avoid writing that first paragraph of your paper, you know that a deadline can be a beautiful thing"
me: truer words were never spoken.
'Our office had Take Your Kids to Work Day' and I...
me: quieter today?Amy reported on the crazy
B: yes-much quieter. although we have some seriously interesting art being displayed in the lobby. most is abstract, but one is a weird painting with "Death!" written across it and one shows 2 stick figures one with huge teeth and the other one is saying "Beaver". super office appropriate. i look forward to seeing whether those ones get hung up
Me: HILARIOUS
B: wish you could see it. although, I'm sure you will soon enough
me: Seriously I was just laughing super hard
B: yeah. I tried to contain my laughter just in case the mother/father of the child were to catch me
I am pretty sure I am, actually, the lyrical...
March 2010
14 posts
Isaac Mizrahi makes EXPENSIVE Plaid Cheesecake. →
and it can be yours for only $39.96 plus $12.00 S&H
NOLA is short for "New Orleans, Louisiana" B...
I thought I knew, but I had no idea..